Jack With a Knife Funny Pictures

How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

2 blind guys were about to fight I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
Both started running away.

How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Shout, "I got money on that guy with the knife!"

I got banned from laser tag today. Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.

EDIT: Thanks guys, you blew up my inbox again. At least this time I know how to disable inbox replies.

In the middle of the battle, I decided to use a knife to preserve my ammo. All the other paintball players started freaking out though.

I was on a blind date with this girl... And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."

I was walking down the street with a friend and we saw two blind guys fighting We got closer and I said "My bet is on the one with the knife."
They both ran

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

Whenever I see two lovers names carved into a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I think it's shocking how many people bring a knife on a date.

I saw two blind men fighting And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"

Then they both ran away

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging few year ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been far more successful.

Today, I saw 2 blind people fighting Then I shouted: "I'm supporting the one with the knife", they both ran away.

Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy. Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket

A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life" I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.

Inventor displays the first knife ever. His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind"

What's the difference between a girl's argument and a knife... The knife has a point.

I've decided to start carrying a knife. After an attempted mugging last week I've decided to start carrying a knife. Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

If you ever get in a knife fight with a group of clowns Go for the juggler

I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo. The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend? The knife has a point.

When I see.... ...lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

"Do you really have to lick the knife!?" she asked with a disapproving frown. "Whoops! Sorry! Force of habit." I said, chuckling. "Lots of people do it though, don't they?!" "Yes, but not during surgery, doctor."

I used my knife to conserve ammo... the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified

When I see lovers' nαmes cαrved in α tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how mαny people bring a knife on a dαte.

"Do you really have to lick the knife?" she asked frowning. "Sorry, force of habit!" I chuckled. "Lots of people do it though, don't they?" "Yes, but not during surgery, doctor."

I saw two blind dudes fighting the other day... .. and I yelled "I'm rooting for the one with the knife!"

Both of them ran away.

Out on a blind date. I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said "What's the best way?" I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"

I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year... All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

What is the difference between arguing with your girlfriend and arguing with a knife? The knife has a point.

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet at all. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

When I see lover's names on a tree, I don't think it's sweet… … I think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What does mime use to cut to cut bread? A charaded knife.

Parenting is sometimes like being a criminal For instance when I'm in the kitchen and yell "Stay back! I have a knife"

What is the definition of am atavist? A man who brings an atlatl to a knife fight.

What do you call it when someone kills someone with a 1000 degree knife? 1000th degree murder

My grand mother is living clickbait My GM: Do you want to see a trick
Me: Yes
My GM: Lay an orange on a plate. Take a sharp knife. Give this a try, you will be telling your friends about it.

A man broke into my house with a Knife and a gun But I wasn't scared Becuase if he stole anything it would be illegal

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Source: https://yellowjokes.com/knife-jokes

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